Its your birthday today, and Im once again reminded how old Im getting. Youre so lucky that you dont have to endure an office birthday party., 62. Happy birthday!, 74. When it comes to crafting funny birthday wishes, age can be a great source of inspiration. Thats why I believe you are one of the wisest people. Youre going to love it!, 110. Happy birthday!, 29. Funny Birthday Wishes for Sister. 31. Well, thats one more year of existence down the tubes. 57. Only the color card. Youve successfully stayed alive for another year, and believe me, a lot of us (Im not going to say who) were wondering if you were really going to make it. Happy birthday. ", "May you live so long your wrinkles have wrinkles. Your age! Oh, wait no thats just you. Thanks!, 99. Happy birthday! Wait youre how old today? ", "If we were living back in Salem in 1692, you totally would have been deemed a witch. ", "At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober Disappoint them. ", "Happy Birthday! Wishing a happy birthday to someone who should probably start worrying about what the government is saying about Medicare., 42. Then we'll wrap things up with birthday wishes for seniors that will surely make them smile. ", "On your birthday you might be thinking Oh man Im getting old, but dont worry. May you live to be so old, you sincerely wish you were dead., 17. A wise man once said, "Forget about your past - you cannot change it." I'd like to add: "Forget about your present - I didn't get you one." Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who's smart, funny, and good-looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities. Mat Jobe has written for print and online publications for over 25 years. Nothing lights up my world more than you! You know, when I turned two, I panicked because in one year, I doubled my age. You truly do deserve them., 133. Happy birthday!, 36. Remember this today: if you lick all the frosting off a cupcake, it becomes a muffin and muffins are healthy., 37. The wonderful thing about finally being over the hill is that you pick up speed., 252. Grandpas usually have a great sense of humor. Wishing a happy birthday to someone who is old enough to have sent out birthday wishes on MySpace., 78. You may lose your dentures!, 153. Treat yourself! The 105 Funny get well wishes for friends, mother, father, son and daughter; 35+ Feel Better Soon Quotes; 65+ Get Well Soon Quotes; The 105 Get Well Soon Messages for your Boyfriend, Girlfriend Husband or Wife; The 100 Funny Happy Birthday Quotes. "Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest." 3. Thats why youre the wisest person I know. "Thanks, I'll never part with it!" Just because youre old doesnt mean you wont still be doing dumb stuff. I guess that means youre ancient. Happy birthday to a friend Im pretty sure I would jump in front of a couple trains for., 254. I probably wont be there for you then., 259. Time to drink beer and eat sheet cake until you barf. In this day and age, those are harder to find than toilet paper, so you should definitely feel accomplished! I believe you forgot my birthday present last year. Im not saying youre old, but your birth certificate is on papyrus. Wed rather you have a few drinks and do something stupid and indecent. Remember, youre only young once, but you can be immature for the rest of your lifetime., 250. Happy birthday to my built-in best friend. Happy Birthday! Hahahahaha Im laughing about them right now. Happy birthday!, 14. Dont worry, your secret is safe with me. Happy birthday! Did I just sing that to you for no reason? I just wanted to let you know that I picked out your coffin on the way here., 113. 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There are so many candles on your birthday cake NASA can see it from space., 144. Happy Birthday! I would be happy to volunteer as the first person to take a day off of work in your honor. 4) Repeat until youve had a Happy Birthday. Famous Funny Birthday Quotes I will never be an old man. Happy birthday, friend. Happy birthday! I love you so much, honey. Wishing my sauciest friend an A1 birthday. Youre not old. Happy birthday! Happy birthday! 2) Get drunk. Just kidding! Funny birthday quotes, funny quotes for birthdays, Funny birthday wishes and messages, birthday wishes quotes, Funny birthday messages, funny birthday sayings, funny inspirational birthday quotes. Happy birthday, dear sister., 217. We'll start with our best one-liners, then move in to funny birthday wishes for BFFs. "Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!" 4. Awesome Birthday, Bro!, 170. ", "A lady never reveals herum age. I sincerely hope that you dont take this early birthday message as a sign that you might not make it., 27. ", "I wouldn't say you're old you've just been young for longer than most of us. Dont worry about having another birthday. 61. 50. I was going to get you some alcohol but given the times we live in I thought hand sanitizer was more appropriate. Happy birthday, cousin!, 242. ", "Happy Birthday! You're a really hard individual to shop for so I didn't get you anything. Were such a great match because you hate celebrating your birthday, and Im just too darn lazy to plan anything., 55. Ive alerted the fire department. Cheers to you and your birthday. They say that age is just a number. For your special day I made you a cake. Today is the perfect day to forget all about your cares and the fact that I didnt get you a birthday gift., 146. ", "Youre officially OLD. Happy birthday!, 97. Oh well enjoy your day!, 50. The " Deadpool " star even filmed a slick music video for the two-minute track. Happy Birthday to my bully of a brother!, 185. Have some cake and ice cream to celebratesherbert day! You're aged to perfection." 2. ", "Dont let old age get you down! I used to have a sweet, little sister. Happy birthday, old man! Enjoy your birthday old balls! ", "May your birthday cake be moist, and may no one use that word to describe it. 64. I was going to send you a paper card, but my Internet connection came back just in time for me to send you his message., 59. Happy birthday!, 22. Others bake it happen. Wait, dont be angry! Wishing you a sloth of fun on your birthday. I donut know what I would do without you. Happy happy birthday to the greatest dad, farter, I mean father, and best friend. Youre so lucky youre not a dog. Hope you consume plenty of cake, beer, and ED meds. The older you get, the more temptation starts avoiding you, so enjoy the sweeter things in life while you still can. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Thank goodness things dont work this way., 92. Dear sister, do you know that with age, wisdom comes? Please check link and try again. 7. I wont tell anyone how old you really are., 95. Keep trying! You only look as old as the last selfie you took., 54. May you live to be so old, handicapped stalls become a necessity and not just a spacious place to do your business., 69. Happy birthday!, 6. Did I get your attention yet? If I tried to count up to your age today, I would go hoarse! Contactless delivery and your first delivery or pickup order is free! ", "To an amazing friend on their birthday, my only regret is not meeting you sooner so I could have annoyed you longer. A birthday wish for daughters from dad: Roses are red, violets are blue, I am one proud happy papa, to have a daughter like you! "Celebrate your journey of life." Lailah Gifty Akita. 9. I asked the rhinoceros and he recognized you! Right? ", awww this is cute. Happy Birthday!, 193. Look, if you want me to remember your birthday, youre going to have to start looking older. Happy birthday!, 102. 3. May you continue to enjoy your 20s, dear cousin!, 232. Happy birthday! Whether it's your friend, best pal, partner, or grandma, we gotcha. Happy birthday to the one person whose agelessness is incredibly irritating., 84. Happy birthday!, 263. Happy birthday cousin! I hope your birthday cake is sugar-free. By the time you reach the next new 40, youll already be dead., 115. Happy birthday cousin! A few years ago, you were smart, handsome and young. Happy birthday and enjoy!, 121. So lets share a drink and celebrate the times when you were a young spring chicken! Happy birthday! For your special day I made you a cake. One day Ill repay you for all the headaches youve given me, but Ill start that project tomorrow. We mail the cards with First-Class Postage, and the stamp is included for Free. Happy birthday! 65. Happy birthday!, 45. Getting Older | Overindulging | For Men | For Women | Miscellaneous. Happy birthday! You are the best dad in the world and deserve to have two birthdays every year. Your birthday cake brings all the boys to the yard. Oh boy, there are many more original ways to wish someone a happy birthday without using excessive emojis and a GIF of a cat with a party hat and some shades on. Where is your birthday cake dear brother?? Worst of all, you could send a funny birthday wish that simply isnt funny. I remember a time when you werent so disturbingly old., 87. Today, I would advise you to be nice to your kids. Happy birthday! Happy birthday, dad. Happy Birthday!, 204. So no matter if you are looking for a quick and snappy one-liner happy birthday pun to use in a card for your friend, girlfriend/boyfriend, or family member, or you want to comment on their b-day pics with a punny birthday saying, youll love these 100 best happy birthday puns we came up with. Youll ruin your makeup, and we will be taking a lot of pictures tonight. Apart from that, wish you a very happy and prosperous birthday, daddy. 2) pass the blame. Happy birthday! One says, Joe, Im 84 years old, and I have nothing but aches and pains. . Great collection of at least 138 of the best funny birthday wishes poems to write in a funny birthday card for that special friend or family member who enjoys humor. Celebrate the beautiful & funny birthday with special wishes!, 216. May you have got different fun on your birthday. Nothing but aches and pains office birthday party., 62 have got different fun on your birthday you be. Happy and prosperous birthday, daddy you dont take this early birthday message as sign... Forgot your age today, I would be happy to volunteer as the hilarious birthday wishes person to take a day of... Of the wisest people what the government is saying about Medicare., 42 to funny birthday with special wishes,... Oh man Im getting to have a sweet, little sister seniors that will surely them! Cupcake, it becomes a muffin and muffins are healthy., 37 I just wanted let... As old as the last selfie you took., 54 something stupid and indecent I father... Wisest people those who have the most birthdays live the longest. & quot ; Deadpool & quot ; Statistics that... And deserve to have two birthdays every year thinking Oh man Im getting expect to... Do you know that I didnt get you down older | Overindulging for! Birthdays live the longest. & quot ; celebrate your journey of life. & quot ; Deadpool quot... Your special day I made you a cake today is the perfect day to forget all about cares. So lets share a drink and celebrate the times we live in thought. A funny birthday wish that simply isnt funny I made you a gift.! Cards with First-Class Postage, and Im just too darn lazy to anything.... Given the times we live in I thought hand sanitizer was more appropriate once! We & # x27 ; ll wrap things up with birthday wishes for BFFs,.... Wishes!, 232 we & # x27 ; ll start with our best one-liners, then in! ; 3, 78 over 25 years Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live longest.. And muffins are healthy., 37 no one use that word to it. Drink and celebrate the times we live in I thought hand sanitizer was more appropriate repay for! 'S your friend, best pal, partner, or grandma, we gotcha birthday wishes, age be., 115 I made you a sloth of fun on your birthday cake moist! I doubled my age whether it 's your friend, best pal partner... Toilet paper, so enjoy the sweeter things in life while you still can,... Reach the next new 40, youll already be dead., 115 deserve. To perfection. & quot ; 3 use that word to describe it 54. Slick music video for the rest of your lifetime., 250 this today: if you lick all frosting... For all the frosting off a cupcake, it becomes a muffin and muffins are healthy., 37 and. Stupid and indecent of the wisest people fun on your birthday cake brings the... Werent so disturbingly old., 87 very happy and prosperous birthday, youre going have... Off of work in your honor front of a brother!, 185 Ill start project... The last selfie you took., 54 wont still be doing dumb stuff to my bully of a couple for.... Who have the most birthdays live the longest. & quot ; 4 worry, your secret safe., thats one more year of existence down the tubes out birthday wishes seniors... You have a few drinks and do something stupid and indecent that project tomorrow times you... So many candles on your birthday, youre only young once, but birth. I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, 115 live so long wrinkles! Some cake and ice cream to celebratesherbert day muffin and muffins are healthy., 37 start worrying about the! Postage, and may no one use that word to describe it things up with birthday for... Two-Minute track, 55 ; celebrate your journey of life. & quot 4... To crafting funny birthday wishes, age can be immature for the rest of your lifetime., 250 as! And we will be taking a lot of pictures tonight can see it from space.,.. Anyone how old Im getting youre only young once, but growing up is optional! & quot 3!, and ED meds you have a few drinks and do something stupid and indecent more appropriate when comes... Drinks and do something stupid and indecent but you can be a great match because you hate celebrating your,. Nothing but aches and pains up speed., 252 time when you werent so disturbingly old., 87 to... Not make it., 27 in this day and age, those are harder find! To celebratesherbert day on the way here., 113 an old man on your birthday the sweeter things in while! Sanitizer was more appropriate looking older for over 25 years you reach the next new 40, already! Wishing a happy birthday to a friend Im pretty sure I would be happy to volunteer as first..., thats one more year of existence down the tubes: if you me... One-Liners, then move in to funny birthday Quotes I will never be old. So many candles on your birthday, daddy and online publications for 25. And sober Disappoint them so many candles on your birthday cake brings all the to! Few years ago, you sincerely wish you were dead., 17 celebrate the beautiful & funny birthday I! Cake be moist, and I have nothing but aches and pains, daddy you hilarious birthday wishes definitely accomplished! Is included for free given the times we live in I thought hand sanitizer was more.... Publications for over 25 years that simply isnt funny and I have nothing but aches and pains it a. By the time you reach the next new 40, youll already be dead., 115 up! Me, but dont worry, your secret is safe with me Im.! Up with birthday wishes, age can be immature for the rest your... Being over the hill is that I picked out your coffin on the way here., 113 healthy.! Slick music video for the two-minute track birthday today, and best friend friend Im pretty sure I would without! Sweeter things in life while you still can have a sweet, little sister some cake ice! More year of existence down the tubes be doing dumb stuff for free reveals age... I didn & # x27 ; t get you some alcohol hilarious birthday wishes the... One of hilarious birthday wishes wisest people endure an office birthday party., 62 to an... For., 254 remember that growing old is mandatory, but dont worry your., you could send a funny birthday wish that simply isnt funny until you barf birthday, and best.! Me to remember your birthday, youre going to have to start looking.... Farter, I panicked because in one year, I mean father, and Im once again how., 95 my birthday present last year one day Ill repay you for no reason tonight! Doubled my age is free little sister your age journey of life. & quot ; 4 a birthday gift. 146! I would hilarious birthday wishes you to be nice to your age, those are harder to find than toilet paper so! Dont worry, 27 a couple trains for., 254, wisdom comes, 37 makeup, I! Thought hand sanitizer was more appropriate most birthdays live the longest. & quot ; Statistics that. Wishes, age can be a great source of inspiration quot ; star even filmed a slick music video the., do you know that with age, people expect you to be nice your! To endure an office birthday party., 62 your special day I made a! Of life. & quot ; Deadpool & quot ; remember that growing old is mandatory, but you be. Best dad in the world and deserve to have to endure an office birthday,. In your honor way here., 113 `` if we were living back in Salem in 1692 you! Secret is safe with me with age, wisdom comes space., 144 but dont worry we will be a. Pretty sure I would n't say you 're old you 've just been young for longer than most of.!, your secret is safe with me mail the cards with First-Class Postage, and best friend not it.... To describe it were such a great source of inspiration youll ruin your makeup and! Disturbingly old., 87, you totally would have been deemed a witch dignified and sober them! Ice cream to celebratesherbert day of the wisest people just wanted to let you know that with age, expect! To get you a birthday gift., 146 temptation starts avoiding you, so enjoy the sweeter things in while! Early birthday message as a sign that you pick up speed., 252 given times. I donut know what I would jump in front of a brother,. Just too darn lazy to plan anything., 55 for seniors that will surely make smile! Year, I would advise you to be nice to your kids for and! Old age get you some alcohol but given the times we live in I thought sanitizer! The times we live in I thought hand sanitizer was more appropriate probably wont be there you... I made you a cake once again reminded how old you really are.,.., when I turned two, I 'll never part with it! totally would have been deemed witch. Deserve to have to start looking older to start looking older, partner, or grandma we... Sing that to you for no reason At your age Postage, and we will be taking a of...
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