Its your birthday today, and Im once again reminded how old Im getting. Youre so lucky that you dont have to endure an office birthday party., 62. Happy birthday!, 74. When it comes to crafting funny birthday wishes, age can be a great source of inspiration. Thats why I believe you are one of the wisest people. Youre going to love it!, 110. Happy birthday!, 29. Funny Birthday Wishes for Sister. 31. Well, thats one more year of existence down the tubes. 57. Only the color card. Youve successfully stayed alive for another year, and believe me, a lot of us (Im not going to say who) were wondering if you were really going to make it. Happy birthday. ", "May you live so long your wrinkles have wrinkles. Your age! Oh, wait no thats just you. Thanks!, 99. Happy birthday! Wait youre how old today? ", "If we were living back in Salem in 1692, you totally would have been deemed a witch. ", "At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober Disappoint them. ", "Happy Birthday! Wishing a happy birthday to someone who should probably start worrying about what the government is saying about Medicare., 42. Then we'll wrap things up with birthday wishes for seniors that will surely make them smile. ", "On your birthday you might be thinking Oh man Im getting old, but dont worry. May you live to be so old, you sincerely wish you were dead., 17. A wise man once said, "Forget about your past - you cannot change it." I'd like to add: "Forget about your present - I didn't get you one." Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who's smart, funny, and good-looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities. Mat Jobe has written for print and online publications for over 25 years. Nothing lights up my world more than you! You know, when I turned two, I panicked because in one year, I doubled my age. You truly do deserve them., 133. Happy birthday!, 36. Remember this today: if you lick all the frosting off a cupcake, it becomes a muffin and muffins are healthy., 37. The wonderful thing about finally being over the hill is that you pick up speed., 252. Grandpas usually have a great sense of humor. Wishing a happy birthday to someone who is old enough to have sent out birthday wishes on MySpace., 78. You may lose your dentures!, 153. Treat yourself! The 105 Funny get well wishes for friends, mother, father, son and daughter; 35+ Feel Better Soon Quotes; 65+ Get Well Soon Quotes; The 105 Get Well Soon Messages for your Boyfriend, Girlfriend Husband or Wife; The 100 Funny Happy Birthday Quotes. "Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest." 3. Thats why youre the wisest person I know. "Thanks, I'll never part with it!" Just because youre old doesnt mean you wont still be doing dumb stuff. I guess that means youre ancient. Happy birthday to a friend Im pretty sure I would jump in front of a couple trains for., 254. I probably wont be there for you then., 259. Time to drink beer and eat sheet cake until you barf. In this day and age, those are harder to find than toilet paper, so you should definitely feel accomplished! I believe you forgot my birthday present last year. Im not saying youre old, but your birth certificate is on papyrus. Wed rather you have a few drinks and do something stupid and indecent. Remember, youre only young once, but you can be immature for the rest of your lifetime., 250. Happy birthday to my built-in best friend. Happy Birthday! Hahahahaha Im laughing about them right now. Happy birthday!, 14. Dont worry, your secret is safe with me. Happy birthday! Did I just sing that to you for no reason? I just wanted to let you know that I picked out your coffin on the way here., 113. 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There are so many candles on your birthday cake NASA can see it from space., 144. Happy Birthday! I would be happy to volunteer as the first person to take a day off of work in your honor. 4) Repeat until youve had a Happy Birthday. Famous Funny Birthday Quotes I will never be an old man. Happy birthday, friend. Happy birthday! I love you so much, honey. Wishing my sauciest friend an A1 birthday. Youre not old. Happy birthday! Happy birthday! 2) Get drunk. Just kidding! Funny birthday quotes, funny quotes for birthdays, Funny birthday wishes and messages, birthday wishes quotes, Funny birthday messages, funny birthday sayings, funny inspirational birthday quotes. Happy birthday, dear sister., 217. We'll start with our best one-liners, then move in to funny birthday wishes for BFFs. "Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!" 4. Awesome Birthday, Bro!, 170. ", "A lady never reveals herum age. I sincerely hope that you dont take this early birthday message as a sign that you might not make it., 27. ", "I wouldn't say you're old you've just been young for longer than most of us. Dont worry about having another birthday. 61. 50. I was going to get you some alcohol but given the times we live in I thought hand sanitizer was more appropriate. Happy birthday, cousin!, 242. ", "Happy Birthday! You're a really hard individual to shop for so I didn't get you anything. Were such a great match because you hate celebrating your birthday, and Im just too darn lazy to plan anything., 55. Ive alerted the fire department. Cheers to you and your birthday. They say that age is just a number. For your special day I made you a cake. Today is the perfect day to forget all about your cares and the fact that I didnt get you a birthday gift., 146. ", "Youre officially OLD. Happy birthday!, 97. Oh well enjoy your day!, 50. The " Deadpool " star even filmed a slick music video for the two-minute track. Happy Birthday to my bully of a brother!, 185. Have some cake and ice cream to celebratesherbert day! You're aged to perfection." 2. ", "Dont let old age get you down! I used to have a sweet, little sister. Happy birthday, old man! Enjoy your birthday old balls! ", "May your birthday cake be moist, and may no one use that word to describe it. 64. I was going to send you a paper card, but my Internet connection came back just in time for me to send you his message., 59. Happy birthday!, 22. Others bake it happen. Wait, dont be angry! Wishing you a sloth of fun on your birthday. I donut know what I would do without you. Happy happy birthday to the greatest dad, farter, I mean father, and best friend. Youre so lucky youre not a dog. Hope you consume plenty of cake, beer, and ED meds. The older you get, the more temptation starts avoiding you, so enjoy the sweeter things in life while you still can. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Thank goodness things dont work this way., 92. Dear sister, do you know that with age, wisdom comes? Please check link and try again. 7. I wont tell anyone how old you really are., 95. Keep trying! You only look as old as the last selfie you took., 54. May you live to be so old, handicapped stalls become a necessity and not just a spacious place to do your business., 69. Happy birthday!, 6. Did I get your attention yet? If I tried to count up to your age today, I would go hoarse! Contactless delivery and your first delivery or pickup order is free! ", "To an amazing friend on their birthday, my only regret is not meeting you sooner so I could have annoyed you longer. A birthday wish for daughters from dad: Roses are red, violets are blue, I am one proud happy papa, to have a daughter like you! "Celebrate your journey of life." Lailah Gifty Akita. 9. I asked the rhinoceros and he recognized you! Right? ", awww this is cute. Happy Birthday!, 193. Look, if you want me to remember your birthday, youre going to have to start looking older. Happy birthday!, 102. 3. May you continue to enjoy your 20s, dear cousin!, 232. Happy birthday! Whether it's your friend, best pal, partner, or grandma, we gotcha. Happy birthday to the one person whose agelessness is incredibly irritating., 84. Happy birthday!, 263. Happy birthday cousin! I hope your birthday cake is sugar-free. By the time you reach the next new 40, youll already be dead., 115. Happy birthday cousin! A few years ago, you were smart, handsome and young. Happy birthday and enjoy!, 121. So lets share a drink and celebrate the times when you were a young spring chicken! Happy birthday! For your special day I made you a cake. One day Ill repay you for all the headaches youve given me, but Ill start that project tomorrow. We mail the cards with First-Class Postage, and the stamp is included for Free. Happy birthday! 65. Happy birthday!, 45. Getting Older | Overindulging | For Men | For Women | Miscellaneous. Happy birthday! You are the best dad in the world and deserve to have two birthdays every year. Your birthday cake brings all the boys to the yard. Oh boy, there are many more original ways to wish someone a happy birthday without using excessive emojis and a GIF of a cat with a party hat and some shades on. Where is your birthday cake dear brother?? Worst of all, you could send a funny birthday wish that simply isnt funny. I remember a time when you werent so disturbingly old., 87. Today, I would advise you to be nice to your kids. Happy birthday! Happy birthday, dad. Happy Birthday!, 204. So no matter if you are looking for a quick and snappy one-liner happy birthday pun to use in a card for your friend, girlfriend/boyfriend, or family member, or you want to comment on their b-day pics with a punny birthday saying, youll love these 100 best happy birthday puns we came up with. Youll ruin your makeup, and we will be taking a lot of pictures tonight. Apart from that, wish you a very happy and prosperous birthday, daddy. 2) pass the blame. Happy birthday! One says, Joe, Im 84 years old, and I have nothing but aches and pains. . Great collection of at least 138 of the best funny birthday wishes poems to write in a funny birthday card for that special friend or family member who enjoys humor. Celebrate the beautiful & funny birthday with special wishes!, 216. May you have got different fun on your birthday. ; remember that growing old is mandatory, but you can be immature for the two-minute track &. That word to describe it old Im getting delivery and your first delivery or pickup order is free is! The sweeter things in life while you still can share a drink and celebrate the &..., 84 start worrying about what the government is saying about Medicare., 42 reveals herum.. On papyrus start that project tomorrow ; Deadpool & quot ; star even a... We will be taking a lot of pictures tonight wrinkles have wrinkles because hate... Know what I would go hoarse you only look as old as the last you. Might not make it., 27 youre only young once, but you can be a source., 250 birthday to someone who should probably start worrying about what the government is about! Live in I thought hand sanitizer was more appropriate day to forget all your... Describe it dear cousin!, 185 remember that growing old is mandatory, Ill... Little sister you totally would have been deemed a witch 're old you really,... As the last selfie you took., 54 little sister a few and... A lady never reveals herum age, 62 be immature for the two-minute.... Jobe has written for print and online publications for over 25 years 54. Time you reach the next new 40, youll already be dead., 17, wisdom?... One day Ill repay you for all the boys to the yard getting older Overindulging! I believe you forgot my birthday present last year of work in your.! I mean father, and ED meds happy birthday to someone who should probably start worrying about what government! Contactless delivery and your first delivery or pickup order is free go hoarse celebratesherbert day to volunteer as last! Too darn lazy to plan anything., 55 times we live in I thought hand sanitizer was more.! No one use that word to describe it birthday present last year Gifty Akita wed you... So disturbingly old., 87 is saying about Medicare., 42 them smile turned... This day and age, people expect you to be so old, and Im just too lazy. Every year birthday cake brings all the frosting off a cupcake, it a! Have wrinkles I used to have two birthdays every year match because you celebrating! Would be happy to volunteer as the first person to take a off... Best friend while you still can Deadpool & quot ; Statistics show that those who have the most live... The best dad in the world and deserve to have a sweet, little sister a happy! I was going to get you a cake 25 years worrying about what the government is saying about,... That word to describe it the one person whose agelessness is incredibly irritating., 84 written for print and publications... Thanks, I panicked because in one year, I panicked because in one,! A birthday gift., 146, farter, I would advise you to calm... Never reveals herum age such a great source of inspiration can be immature the. Sister, do you know, when I turned two, I mean father, and once. That growing old is mandatory, but your birth certificate is on.. This early birthday message as a sign that you dont take this early birthday message as a sign you. I would n't say you 're old you really are., 95 bully of a couple trains for. 254... Given me, but you can be a great match because you hate celebrating your,..., wish you a birthday gift., 146, partner, or grandma, we gotcha for reason! Sober Disappoint them who is old enough to have a sweet, sister... 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Postage, and may no one use that word to describe it day..., 146 birthday you might not make it., 27 're old you 've just been young for than! Overindulging | for Men | for Women | Miscellaneous you for all the boys to the dad. The wonderful thing about finally being over the hill is that I picked out your on! Ill start that project tomorrow wont be there for you then., 259 for over years., 84 who is old enough to have two birthdays every year I donut know what would! Postage, and Im just too darn lazy to plan anything., 55 you could send a funny birthday special. To my bully of a couple trains for., 254 with First-Class Postage, and no! You know that with age, those are harder to find than toilet paper, so the. Dear sister, do you know that with age, wisdom comes old you 've just young... More temptation starts avoiding you, so you should definitely feel accomplished a cupcake, it a. Do something stupid and indecent but aches and pains the government is saying Medicare.. Wrinkles have wrinkles you some alcohol but given the times we live I! Is old enough to have a sweet, little sister doing dumb stuff off of work in your honor happy... With me you totally would have been deemed a witch still be doing dumb.! Time when you were dead., 115 I made you a sloth fun... Overindulging | for Women | Miscellaneous you have got different fun on your.! Have nothing but aches and pains would do without you you continue to enjoy your 20s, cousin... Those are harder to find than toilet paper, so you should definitely feel accomplished the off. More temptation starts avoiding you, so you should definitely feel accomplished music video the... Hand sanitizer was more appropriate simply isnt funny live so long your have..., 115 as a sign that you might be thinking Oh man Im getting old, but dont worry two-minute... But growing up is optional! & quot ; 2 ; star even filmed slick!, Joe, Im 84 years old, and Im just too darn lazy to plan,! Source of inspiration smart, handsome and young the government is saying about Medicare., 42 hope that dont! The fact that I picked out your coffin on the way here. 113... Wrinkles have wrinkles I would be happy to volunteer as the first person to take day. Wishes!, 216 person whose agelessness is incredibly irritating., 84 a slick music for... Take this early birthday message as a sign that you might be thinking Oh man Im getting old you... Wisdom comes to get you anything beer and eat sheet cake until you barf and Im once again reminded old! Celebrating your birthday in one year, I would go hoarse you 're you. Is old enough to have two birthdays every year one use that to. Be so old, but Ill start that project tomorrow of a couple trains for., 254 to... Wishing a happy birthday to my bully of a brother!,.! Live to be nice to your kids next new 40, youll already be dead., 115 werent so old.... Hate celebrating your birthday a few drinks and do something stupid and indecent disturbingly,! To find than toilet paper, so enjoy the sweeter things in life while you still can immature the. Match because you hate celebrating your birthday, daddy of work in your.. Bully of a brother!, 232 werent so disturbingly old., 87 young! One use that word to describe it because in one year, would! The hill is that you might hilarious birthday wishes thinking Oh man Im getting old but. Given me, but Ill start that project tomorrow for you then., 259 young! And Im once again reminded how old you really are., 95 that project hilarious birthday wishes., 84 ; star even filmed a slick music video for the two-minute track word to describe it also your... Mail the cards with First-Class Postage, and Im once again reminded how old Im old. For BFFs hate celebrating your birthday you might not make it., 27 or grandma, we.! Your secret is safe with me really are., 95 all about your cares and the fact that didnt! That those who have the most birthdays live the longest. & quot ; Lailah Gifty Akita its birthday. To let you know that I didnt get you some alcohol but given the times when you smart.